Dude, Be Nice – SCCMH [Podcast 64]

We are all going through an unprecedented situation, being able to reduce stress and anxiety will help you when dealing with people inside and outside of the home. Jim shares a story of the help desk where he judges the current mood of today’s society. Let’s share some ways to help each other out, stay productive, and better yourself during the next month.

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Jim Edwards: Hey guys, Jim Edwards here along with Stew Smith…

Welcome to episode 64, the Sales Copywriting Content Marketing Hacks Podcast…

Continuing with the quarantine from the bunker episodes…

This, when we look back on this 10 years from now, Stew and people are listening to these podcast episodes, and they’re going, my God, these men were brilliant.

Stew Smith: Way back when 2020 way back in the start of the twenties in the roaring twenties.

These guys were right on target, and they were smack dab in the middle of one of the biggest quarantine you’ve ever seen in your life…

And they survived…

And not only did they survive, they thrived, and they were reaching out to make humanity better on every level, personally, spiritually, financially, religiously, physically.

These were true Renaissance men.

Stew Smith: I like that.

Jim Edwards: I talked about writing your story in advance.

Stew Smith: Yeah.

Jim Edwards: The one thing I want to talk about, though, I’m going to start with a little story real quick.

This is a little game I like to play in the help desk…

Stew Smith: What’s going to happen when you get to the help desk.

Jim Edwards: It’s a little game.

I like to play in the help desk when people come in there, and they’re snippy, and they’re nasty and just plain rude and mean…

Both my daughters and my wife and my niece all worked for me at the same time, and all worked in the help desk…

And so when someone was nasty, they were being mean to my wife, to my daughters or to my niece who was like my daughter, and this is before when I was on medication that made me angry.

I would get pissed…

They would not let me anywhere near the frickin help desk.


Cause they’re like, don’t let Jim in the help desk.

But then it would come a time where you’ve heard break glass in case of an asshole.

And it’s like if we need somebody to be nasty and my wife does it to this day, it’s like when she’s just like break glass.

“Okay, Jim, go get them…”

And so this is the game I would play.

I would say when they couldn’t resolve their ticket, I would get in there, and I would say, “Hey, this is Jim Edwards, and I just want you to know the person you’re being nasty to is my wife.”

And so knowing that they would come back and say, “Oh, I’m sorry, I’m really sorry, I didn’t know that was your wife.”

“I’m really sorry.”

And then my response would be to lower the hammer to say, it doesn’t matter that it was my wife.

It doesn’t matter that it was my daughter.

You should never talk to someone like that.

And the fact that you’re only sorry was because it was my wife or my daughter makes it doubly bad and they’re like, mm.

And I tell that because you don’t know who you’re being snippy with…

You don’t know what kind of a day they’re having…

You don’t know what their personal circumstances.

I have somebody that works on the help desk for us now.

Really nice lady works in the help desk and helps us.

Part of the time she was working in the help desk for us when she first started, she was helping someone go through hospice.

She had someone in her life that she was helping to die.

Stew Smith: Yeah.

Jim Edwards: And being nasty to somebody.

I mean, can you imagine the effect that would have on somebody?

You don’t know.

Everybody’s going through it too.

It’s like Stew tells me all the time if I complain about a workout or something, he’s like, yeah, that’s a workout we were doing…

In other words, if it hurt for you, so what?

Everybody else is in pain too.

This is nothing compares to that BUDS training and stuff that you went through, but like a go ruck event or any type of event, if you’re hurting pull your head up out of your own butt and look around and realize that everybody around you is hurting right now too.

And they’re not whining or winching like a little bitch right now.

And so there’s no excuse for you to do it.

Now, I know there’s a lot of stuff going on in the world right now.

I know that people are suffering, people are worried, they are losing their jobs.

They’re worried about catching something that’s going to kill them.

They’re worried about bringing something into the house that might kill their parents.

Stew Smith: Yeah.

Jim Edwards: All right.

Everybody’s dealing with that right now.

So we gotta be nice to people.

I’ve talked a lot, Stew.

What are your thoughts?

Stew Smith: It’s a funny thing. I have done two podcasts already today.

And my first one was my tactical fitness report, and I bring on this other Navy seal guy named Jeff Nichols, who comes on, and we had pretty much the same conversation, right?

Because we’re getting inundated with, I don’t have a pool, I don’t have a gym.

What do I do?


And so no one else has it either.

And I’ve never had a gym membership.

Now I do have a local community pool that I go to, which I don’t have anymore.

And I haven’t been swimming for a couple of weeks now, but we’re getting around it.

We’re doing other things.

You have to get creative.

We’re trying to answer a question that everybody is going through the same thing together, so let’s get creative about it and try to solve a problem personal because everybody has different levels of equipment and abilities and all that stuff.

So it can go to a variety of different ways.

And we just gave them some ideas from Home Depot, Sandbags to a piece of rope for a TRX whatever.

Jim Edwards: Everybody’s got, gravity dude.

Stew Smith: Yeah, exactly.

Jim Edwards: Do sets of 25 pushups until your arms feel like they’re going to fly the sockets and then do knee pushups.

There you go.

Stew Smith: Yup.

There are answers out there, but yes, and in the end it was, we were all getting through this together.

Let’s be kind to each other.

Let’s help out your neighbor.

I mean, cause I tend to focus on the tactical profession world, which is your first responders…

You’re EMT, your firefighters, your police officers, your military, your special ops guys…

And that mindset alone is, I am training to save my buddy.

My buddy’s life may depend on my fitness level.

My own life may depend on my fitness level.

A person I’m trying to help across the street or in a swimming pool or in a lake may depend on my fitness level and abilities.

So we are already in a mindset anyway of wanting to serve, and wanting to be helpful, not being selfish, not being rude.

And let this stress and anxiety get to you such a level where you are not being an asset or not being very helpful to people.

So that is how we tackle the exact same problem.

Not being helpful and not being an asset.

Being rude, etc.

Jim Edwards: Not being an asset.

I thought you’re going to say something else.

Stew Smith: Well, one thing I always try to say is you want to be an asset in your world.


Not a liability where someone has to save you.

Jim Edwards: Right.

Stew Smith: So anyway, you’re already in that mindset anyway of being helpful.

Let’s don’t be rude on top of it.

Stew Smith: And I think counterproductive.

Jim Edwards: The other thing about what you think about expands, and so if you’re focused on kindness, if you’re focused on patients, if you’re focused on helpfulness, then that’s what’s going to expand in your world…

You’re not going to absorb the negativity of other people.

You’re not going to contribute negativity to other people.

You are going to be a magnet for the positive stuff.

And I really believe this.

The whole thought of what you think about expands our thoughts are things that go out into the universe and attract those same thoughts to us.

Because when it comes to thoughts like attracts like, it’s not opposites attract.

It’s like attracts like if you’re projecting out into the universe, fear, and negativity and lack and bitchiness, that’s what you’re going to get back…

If you’re projecting out hope and faith and helpfulness and kindness, that’s exactly what’s going to get attracted to you.

And I think it starts in the home cause we’re all stuck at home.

If you’re being nasty to your teammates at home, you’re really slitting your own throat.

You need to practice being nice to your kids, to your spouse, to your parents, to whoever.

The neighbor that got marooned at your house and now can’t leave because he’s in a no-fly zone.

Whoever’s there.

Y’all better make friends now.

Be buddies.

Take care of each other.

Stew Smith: Yeah.

Jim Edwards: And look out for your neighbors and, and look out for the people around you because this thing went from, “Hey, this is going to be a couple of weeks to now…”

“Hey, that was a couple of weeks…”

Do you hear my dogs?

Stew Smith: Oh yeah.

Jim Edwards: Yeah, they, I can eat them if I have to…

I won’t.

I probably won’t have to, but I could.

So those chihuahuas, man.

Did you know chihuahuas originally bred as food by the Incas.

Stew Smith: Really?

Jim Edwards: Yeah.

They bred the little dogs cause they’re easy, they’re portable, they don’t eat a whole lot…

They can route around and get their own food…

And then you turn them into chalupas when you’re done…

Stew Smith: Oh, my God. About the size of a burrito…

Jim Edwards: Oh yeah…

There’s not much, I mean, that’s like four quick wings.

Stew Smith: So messed up!

Jim Edwards: I know…

This is part of that whole breakdown of society…

I’m talking about eating my dogs with hot sauce.

So the thing that you gotta remember though is seriously is take care of yourself, take care of the ones immediately around you…

And then it’s like concentric circles.

You gotta take care of yourself, be kind yourself, be kind to your teammates in the house, be kind to your teammates around you in the neighborhood and then be kind to the people that you’re interacting with online.

Because that’s the right thing to do.

And selfishly, if you’re being kind, you will attract kindness to you…

You’re going to feel better.

So if you want to think of it being kind to others is the ultimate selfish act.

If you want to look at it that way.

And I think we’ll all just be a lot better off.

I mean, I’m worried about Stew, I’ve been worried about Stew for days, haven’t talked to him in like a week.

I’m like, man, I wonder how Stew’s doing.

Stew Smith: I am a good man!

I’m going to tell ya, I am sucking up this quarantine life and working out in my carport.

Jim Edwards: There you go.

Stew Smith: With my son.

Not a whole bunch of people…

Just my son and I are working out, which I’m really enjoying…

And one other idea for you to is starting making a list…

It looks like we’re going to be here for a while anyway.

Let’s start making a list.

I’ve already started in my yard getting ready for spring.

I got a great to-do list for my business that I’m going to be working on updating some eBooks and.

Coming up with some new sections on my website.

Just to kind of evolve a little bit.

Jim Edwards: Yeah.

Stew Smith: But another thing too is this is a great time to practice some discipline and some mental toughness.

Maybe even practice some meditation.

My buddy Jeff like I said, he’s a seal team, six Navy seal guy, I mean tough as nails and he recommended this one guy who practices kindness and calmness in his meditations as his name is Kornfield.

Jack Kornfield, I think it is.

But anyway, he’s Buddhist.

Jack Kornfield with a K Kornfield with a K.

So your quarantine, go to Kornfield and make you a nicer person…

Cause he is all about he’s a Buddhist practitioner.

Very kind.

He’s an author and highly recommended it.

If you ever wanted to take up some meditation, go to YouTube and watch a video while meditation and check out Kornfield and you’ll learn some unique practice methods to do that and be a little mentally stronger after all this…

Especially if anxiety is starting to get to you.

Cause it has a way of starting to show itself even if you’re not doing anything, it will start showing itself with mainly with poor attitudes, and you’re rude to other people.

And so usually it’s inner piece problems that are occurring when you are rude to a person at a help desk.

Because guess what, that help desk person is there to help you.

Jim Edwards: Yeah.

Stew Smith: It’s not there to screw you.

That person isn’t the person who caused all the problems.

Jim Edwards: Exactly. That’s great, yes.

Stew Smith: They’re there to help you.

Jim Edwards: It’s not like you went to the trouble desk first and say, “Hey, can you create a pain in the ass for me so I can go be nasty to somebody at the help desk?”

Stew Smith: Not many businesses have it set up…

So they want to cause you pain…

Jim Edwards: They purposely become a pain in the butt.

Stew Smith: Things go wrong, and people can fix it…

It may even be your problem that went wrong.

It may not even be theirs.

So be nice.

Jim Edwards: That’s the one that kinda sucks…

I want to compliment you cause you’re always like the adult.

You’re the calm adult in the room always as opposed to myself cause I was gonna recommend people go play violent video games in order to deal with some stress.

Stew Smith: No, you don’t want to do that…

I don’t think that’s very helpful.

Jim Edwards: It’s probably not.

It’s going to try and sell my wife on that.

Stew Smith: You got two sides of your central nervous system…

You have the speed upside we call the sympathetic nervous system, and you call it the slow downside, which is the parasympathetic nervous system…

And that parasympathetic nervous system is probably what you need to focus on the most when you are stressed out, when you are overtraining or when you are being a jerk, you need to take a big deep breath.

Jim Edwards: Cut down on the caffeine.

Stew Smith: Relax, get a good night’s sleep.

Do some yoga meditation, and you’ll be a better person at the end of it…

Jim Edwards: And get some nooky.

Stew Smith: That is actually engages the parasympathetic nervous system as well…

Jim Edwards: Yeah. I don’t know what it’s called, but I like it, anyway.

So I think this is good.

This is a good message, and I think we can end with that…

And just everybody be nice to each other.

We’re in this together.

It’s kind of like people who criticize whatever president, any president we’ve ever had, the people that criticize the president.

It’s like being a passenger on a plane and hoping that the pilot screws up.

Stew Smith: You don’t want the pilot to mess up.

Jim Edwards: You don’t want that.

And this is not a political thing…

We’re also saying is that when you’re looking at what’s going on in your life, you’re looking being nasty being mean to people is like wanting to cause a problem.

Stew Smith: Yeah…

Jim Edwards: You want to be part of the solution being nice.

Just being nice.

Just be nice.

And I heard a great line from Dr. Wayne Dyer.

He wrote a great book called push your own buttons and other stuff…

And one of his later works.

He got real philosophical and stuff and but he said if you’re faced with the choice to be right or to be kind, choose kindness, and that’s always stuck with me.

Stew Smith: I like that, and that is a great way to end it too.

Like really like that term.

Jim Edwards: Great (…) advice.

Stew Smith: Yes…

Oh absolutely…

I don’t try to win.

Jim Edwards: Yeah.

Oh hell.

Cause you can’t!

Stew Smith: Honey, no point!

Jim Edwards: No point…

No point.

Don’t even try…

Stew Smith: Yes, honey!

Jim Edwards: Now you’re just agreeing with – no honey, you’re right.

Then you’re arguing about whether she’s right or not.

Hey, this just, you’re right.

All right, cool.

Good jobs, Stew this was fun.

Stew Smith: Thank you very much.

Jim Edwards: I was looking forward to our podcasts and meetings and stuff, so I appreciate you, man…

Stew Smith: Yeah, so everybody learns about box breathing, big inhale, big exhales…

You take four seconds in, hold for four seconds, four seconds out, hold for four seconds, four seconds in, hold for four seconds, four seconds out, over four seconds.

You do that for a couple of minutes.

It’ll bring you back down into a more relaxed state.

Jim Edwards: I like it.

Stew Smith: Box breathing.

I didn’t make it up.

You can Google it.

Jim Edwards: Okay. Okay, awesome.

Talk to you guys soon.

Everybody, have a great day.

Head on over the Sales Copywriting Content Marketing Hacks group on Facebook.

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So get a free copy of copywritingsecrets.com, and we will talk to you guys soon.

Have a great day, everybody.



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